Yes he can!

With all the negativity coming from Warshington, Wall Street, elsewhere something of a lighter quality follows:
pp fired of a paper message to Assad, the Syrian president of sorts. pp threaten to do this for weeks, but he let MP send her statement first. Ladies before gentlemen.
With no response. pp comments went something like this. 'Old buddy, Assad you can't keep killing your brothern like you have been doing for the last 5 months. You should resign and flee to Iran'. 'You are no longer a civil leader'. What the media didn't say was... Assad responded. It went something like this. 'You ain't no buddy of mine, you tar baby. Furthermore you can go f-ourself. Take care of your own country's problems'. Upon receipt of the response, pp called a cabinet meeting, but without GI. GI is in China trying to sell California. The only agenda item for the cabinet was Assad's response. pp challenged his cabinet and he wanted answers now. Why is Assad mad at me, I confessed all of America's sins a couple years ago. But Sir, who starting the Libyan affair? Oh! that's was the UN or NATO not me. And what is Assad speaking about...tar baby? It takes one to know one right. Right on Mr.Pres. And what is Assad meaning, I have enough problems here at the WH to take care of. Sir, did you see the markets today? All tanking. New weekly unemployment filing up over 400,000 again, existing home sales down big time, manufacturing is down, import/export is out of wack by a ton,and... Ok, but I told the American public in my mid-western tour, earlier this week, I have a new plan coming out in September to steady the economy and jump start recovery from the Bush Administration's recession. And besides them mid-westerns all like my new traveling machine. Sir, could I be frank, really really frank? Lay it on, I have a Czar ready to take your place. Did you ever think about a swap? Say what? A swap! 'pp for Assad'. You take Assad's place in Syria and Assad become our new president here. Let me think about it, for the wife and them are ready to go to Martha's Vinyard, for vacation. I'll be back when Congress returns. Don't call me, I'll call you.